Tabitha's Manuscript • Excerpt
“Yes, you can, Tabby. You think you have to do this, that you are somehow obligated to sacrifice yourself to save me. That’s some bullshit, if I’m being honest.”
“Why?” I truly don’t know how everyone can’t see I have no choice but to perform.
“What if I said I want you to stop because your mental health is more important to me than my own life.”
“I’d say you’re fucking stupid.”
This is obviously serious because Mom doesn’t chastise my language.
“Why? Why is sacrificing your life to save me more important than me sacrificing mine to save you?”
I sting back, like a Yellowjacket to the neck. “You know why.”
Kayla knows it’s because of what I did that night. To her. To our family. But I can’t say that in front of Becca.
Kayla responds with her own venom. “I just have cancer. It fucking happens, Tabby. And if I am in my last months, then I want it to be me seeing you happy and knowing that eventually, you live your best after I’m gone. That’s it. That’s my make-a-wish.”
“You already made your make-a-wish, meeting Joe Gatto from Impractical Jokers. You can’t change your mind.”
“Of course I can change my mind…” she takes a breath. Whatever she is going to say building inside, she tears up. “Because I have FUCKING CANCER!”
Tears spill out and stream down her cheeks. This sets me off. And Mom. And Becca. It’s silent crying, just tears gushing all over the place, in a hurry like they have somewhere important to be.
We sit in the wetness and the silence, a shipwreck. No survivors.